Feeling Alone
I feel silly (and human) in acknowledging that I have grappled with this for so long – not wanting to be alone! Been miserable about it, anxious to be surrounded by family as much as possible, but still internally feeling alone. Wanted to be loved by others so that I didn’t have to feel alone! Been sad when communication hasn’t flowed well. Been afraid to be alone, both physically and emotionally- especially hated to go to bed alone. Wanted people on my walks – didn’t enjoy that on my own. Been afraid to die alone, be isolated, rejected or abandoned. Didn’t enjoy travelling alone …
I have been clinging to people to avoid the anguish of loneliness. Been desperate for connection, that I have almost driven people away at times by my demands.
Our Separate Body
And yet, I AM ALONE….this is fact.
WE ARE ALL ALONE….. !!!!
How come I couldn’t “see” this!
Gosh – what a mess of continuous entanglement and attachment to people……
I couldn’t avoid the above fact through any amount of clinging, hoping, holding on! I have been committed to a hopeless endeavour, and no-one could cure me of the fact that I am alone.
We are born alone, live 24/7 alone in our minds/thoughts/body and we each die alone. This is how it is! This is a universal truth. To accept this fact, is sanity. To be in company is a privilege not a necessity.
The Path is Walked Alone
We live in a temporary world, and can take no-one with us when we die! No family or friends comes with us ever- it is an alone process! No-one else can carry our emotional burden. It is ours to turn into bliss. No one else can fill our holes. They are ours to nurse and turn into strength. No one else can pacify us out of our loneliness, even if they wanted to! That is an internal journey. No one else can give meaning to our lives. We must find that for ourselves …
All has to be done alone….. What an awakening! The acceptance of an obvious fact that I have been avoiding for as long as I can remember …..
Be “joyful” alone 😇
Wisdom – The Journey Away from the Fear of Being Alone
“”Whether, somebody hates you or somebody loves you should not make any difference in you. If you “are”, you remain the same; if you are not, then you are immediately changed. If you are not, then anybody can pull you, push you; then anybody can push your buttons and change you. Then you are a slave, then you are not a master. Your mastery begins when whatsoever happens outside does not change you; your inner climate remains the same.
A psychoanalyst was attending a convention. At one of the lectures one ugly woman sitting next to him began to pinch him. Annoyed, he was about to give her an angry retort, when he changed his mind; “Why should I get angry,” he decided: “After all, it is her problem.”
Whether somebody loves you or hates you, it is his or her problem. If you “are”: if you have understood your being -you remain in tune with yourself; nobody can disturb your inner harmony. If somebody loves, good — if somebody hates, good: both remain somewhere outside you. This is what we call mastery. This is what we call “crystallization” — — becoming free of impressions, influences.””
Osho ….
