Unexpected Circumstances
So how does your mind respond when unexpected circumstances unfold?
I had been warned to expect the unexpected right now by an astrologer friend, but could not have guessed what has actually transpired and am still a bit stunned at my own reactions too. My emotions have done the pendulum swing- gone from feeling great, and then to experiencing tension too.
This week I have seen spontaneity arise for us as a family, and the most “fixed” and stubborn person in my home has actually lead the decision making process, which in itself is totally miraculous.
Being Comfortable In the Beautiful
Bizarre as it seems, even though what has transpired is beautiful, I am still trying to become comfortable with it, and one week on, I have not yet allowed myself the chance to experience the joy and expansion of it. I am holding back.
I know silly! I am nuts…. The mind is saying, is this the best timing? Even though I know the opportunity will not arise again, and so it is the best timing!. The mind is saying, is this affordable? Even though, we cannot not afford to do so and so much of it has manifested in such a deeply cost effective way!
And despite my reactions, “life” has simply made all of this just happen. Smoothly doors have opened and we walked straight through. Now, to trust the unfoldment and become comfortable with the uncertainty of life, so that my mind can embrace the never-ending possibilities it continues to send us.
The full details will be lived in August, as we travel to Australia, Singapore and China, as a family on a three week excursion- omg!
More Changes Ahead
This is our baby- used to so much connection through communication and discussion. These conversations have been the cornerstone of my parenting and act as our lifeline, and without me knowing it, they have acted as a form of security for her too
She will be leaving to move to Kingston in a few months, on the East Coast, so the pattern of being able to connect on her own terms, whenever she wants to, will be inevitably broken. She will be on a diff time zone, and I will be busy at times, maybe free living my own life, for I have put on hold almost everything, just to serve the needs of these three children.
Now, my task will be to teach her how to find the security within herself. This is not going to be easy, as most of us wish to keep that connection going with our parents forever. We think, “I am important, and you need to be there”. And as a parent I know I always feel, “Whatever I can do, I always will!”
Managing the Emotions
I am in danger of emotional volatility as I face the empty nest syndrome, so having my broader understanding about life may help me to cope. The tears have already started rolling….. hers and mine! We are both so attached, which unfortunately is already adding to our suffering.
I know, even at age 55, my conversation with my own parents is still so important to me, despite being 8 hours away from them. I guess hearing their voices, acts as a form of security for me too, and I hadn’t even known that until now. Neediness in its truthful form, albeit disguised as love.
So, in seeing what Saphren has to grow into, I also have to recognize what I need to grow out of too! lol! Growing up together….. and finding security within. Mother and daughter will go through this together and I will try not to fuel the attachments.
Life is so strange, we raise them because they are dependent and yet we must let them go too, into their independence! Attachments have to be transcended.
And in the meantime we have this lovely holiday to enjoy some wonderful presence together before she starts her new life.
