The Role of Unconscious Bias In Our Reactions

Our family environment often effortlessly brings up the sabotaging components of the unconscious bias that we carry.

The unconscious bias- is the automated response that we have- which no one knows why we are so invested with. All we do know, is that its reaction can be volatile and come out of the blue unexpectedly causing disruption.

As a result we fall into arguments and disagreements without realizing that the cumulative effect of these regular occurrences tears away at the love and unity we feel for one another. The automated reactions come without warning and much damage occurs when communication becomes stifled in this way.  We may even begin to repeat the same mistakes that our parents made, even though we might have vowed that we would not get ourselves in the same circumstances.

Once we know how to TRANSFORM the unconscious bias, we effortlessly become less triggered and more emotionally receptive. The language that is required to maintain the unspoken protection/comfort people seek at home, does not become tainted with stress, and lack of appreciation for one another.

Our effort at Spark Expansion Consulting is to offer you innovative solutions that are technically ahead of their time.  Solutions that have been known to the wise for a very long time, that have been distilled into an easy to use practical way for the 21st century. All our work together will lead to lasting behavioural changes, increase in compassion for oneself and others, increase in connection and communication, and an improvement in relationships throughout your life. All of this will happen effortlessly as your self awareness and consciousness increases.

 

Self Awareness

The more self aware we are the easier our life becomes. Fortunately all the dynamics at home give us an opportunity to see where our tolerance and patience is missing. It also gives us an opportunity to see where our wounds lie, our self doubt and our lack of self appreciation.

Our relationships with others and ourselves are driven by unconscious judgments, conclusions and beliefs, expectations and desires we carry. Without us becoming consciously aware of what is at the root of our reactions, we remain stuck.  Once we become more self aware of our unconscious responses ( that tend to run on autopilot), and we neutralize their occurrence in our life, our relationships improve with everyone, in particular with ourselves.

As we begin to feel good about ourselves, respect ourselves, treasure our gifts, we in turn are capable of respecting those qualities in others. As we plug the holes to our wounded disempowered state, we simultaneously grow in compassion. As we overcome our fears and insecurities, we are less triggered by those that are still stuck in fear or approval seeking.

 

Break the Chain to Family Behaviour Patterns that do not serve

Every criticism, reprimand or judgment heard in a family home contributes to ideas of how we value ourselves and see ourselves internally. Whether we are sensitive, an introvert or an extrovert, shapes our conclusions about life. Whether we grew up poor or rich influences our perception of money and abundance. If we experienced abuse, mental or physical we have been left with conclusions that still drive our behaviour today.

If a parent was kind and thoughtful, proactive or courageous- all of these traits can be passed on. If a grandparent suffered from suppression, depression or even cancer- genetic imprints continue on in the chain for the next generation.

 

In this personalized one on one program for the family we help each of you:

  1. To identify and release systematically the unconscious blockages that are relevant to your life and how they are affecting each of you in the family unit.
  2. Learn how to break the chain to the root causes of reactions, grief, disappointment, drama, so that you can be individually unleashed from stress and worry but instead feel courageous and strong.
  3. Eliminate the old programmed reactions  from the cells of your body- so that irrevocable behavioural changes occur effortlessly from within, that are permanent and do not need to be reinforced through mind reminders.
  4. To feel empowered, responsible, self motivated, and claim back your worth.
  5. To feel more peace and calm within as you connect with heightened consciousness and rekindle a new way to connect with each other.
  6. By-pass the judgments of the mind, to get access to the ” how and why the mind” is responding in its current way, and look to progressively silence its’ sabotaging influence on your life, by using advanced meditative techniques.

 

The variety of dynamics that may play at home

 

Each family member plays a role in the home. One might be the organizer and controller, whilst another might be the Nobody that goes with the flow.

We might have a child that is the drama maker, another the people pleaser, and another the attention seeking star!  We might have the achiever, the dreamer, and the leader. It does not matter what role someone is playing because in the end each can feel partially lopsided and not whole within. We as human beings compare ourselves to one another and begin to see our weaknesses as a fault that has to be condemned. Each of us have our blindspots. Each has their area of growth. Each has their knowing of what they are compromising on for the greater good of the family unit.

So whatever the current responses to life, we can all adopt a more fulfilling, inclusive and well-rounded response instead.  A home that feels grounded, rooted in self confidence, compassionate in its care and connection will generate future leaders that will automatically offer a peace filled contribution to society. For this to happen the journey to grow in self awareness has to be initiated by parents that have the foresight to see how they can benefit the next generation by bringing in consciousness into their day to day interactions.

Feelings of being misunderstood, unloved, inadequate have an origin. Emotions of “shut down”, or exhaustion through over extension have to be dealt with head on. Reactions of anger, dismay or a sense of confusion/frustration must not be repressed and ignored.

 

Deal with the Cause

 

Everything  has a cause- we simply assist you to become aware of how the emotion is arising so that the triggered reactions can stop in your daily interactions. Fear is at the root of a lot of the emotions, as often suppressing our real truth perpetuates the cycle of becoming inauthentic- which in itself is very painful way to live.

Any form of incongruence in the leadership style or rigidity in your parenting protocols will be addressed.  We increase your self awareness so that invisible childhood programming that might be unconsciously lingering can be shed. We also help you to overcome the karmic lessons that are unfolding in the family too.

Each family member will embody a new strength and resilience in your outlook for the future….our intention is to set you up with skills to be the well rounded leader of your life. Our work will help you to be authentic, with immense integrity because all of the changes you embody will come from a growth in consciousness.

 

 To lead ourselves effectively we should feel fulfilled

 

This is an intense deep dive in a short four month plan, personalized to your needs. We aim to understand your aspirations from an emotional point of view and nurture you from an authentic and honest place!  It is not about being logical and learning how to put on a tough face as we endure pressure, and attempt to stay resilient to our hardships. No. Our work together will break social protocols of what is acceptable and what is not- but instead will assist you to genuinely become refreshed and re-energised for life.

We evaluate your family plan objectives mindfully in line with your current work-life balance and move forward step by step chipping away at the underlying state hidden deep within you. Any feelings of aloneness, the feelings of relentless pressure that you carry, any anxiety or worry around making mistakes, maintaining your reputation, and achieving continued success are all addressed, so that you can truly feel whole within.

We will stretch you outside your current comfort experientially to remove mind made feelings that are unknown to you!  Irrevocably the cells of your body are helped back into their natural state. Our aim is to help everyone know the path to access fulfillment.

 

 Becoming Calm Present and Whole

 

The new type of internal confidence and strength you begin to embody cannot be influenced detrimentally by outside life circumstances. It is a confidence that is not dependent on opinions, success or achievement. It is a form of confidence that is peaceful, non aggressive, and extremely responsive- with almost a genius quality within it. Total calm and lightness is thus felt within. It comes from connection with your being, and your innate value.

This wholeness arises as your masculine behavioural traits are harmonized with your feminine traits. The beauty of this is that your patience takes precedence and your trust in life increases. Your control reduces in a positive way, and your internal pressures lessen too. Your goals are attained more easily without having to push so hard. You become more creative and inspirational.

Any disabling or niggling health issues begin to be healed as a byproduct of your evolution. Anxiety, stress and worry begin to dissipate, as the calm within grows.

So grateful for your giftedness Kindi. I’m always amazed at how you see the connection between the challenges and the learning hidden within them. Your presence and precise words have this way of triggering a deep inner understanding and clarity. I know it has for me. The family dynamics we find ourselves in is very rich territory. It’s too easy to struggle with it though and miss the opportunity for transformation. Glad you are bringing education and guidance that is so needed. Lila Haris, Kansas, USA

 Benefits at a glance with the Gold Package for growth in Self Awareness for the Family

 

EVERYONE WILL BECOME MUCH MORE SELF AWARE AND THUS GROW OUT OF BLINDSPOTS

Your male and female traits will begin to align, allowing your response to family dynamics to be more receptive and patient

Your ability to neutralize the negative noise that your busy mind is making will increase and thus you will become more positive and grateful

Your ability to understand one another will increase

Your clarity heightens through greater connection with your “inner knower” as you grow in consciousness and begin to dissolve the root cause of emotional triggers and pain points

You will learn new active meditative tools to offload and detoxify the stress and worry in great speed so that misery can be handled effectively and not be suppressed

You will lose the “charge” around old grudges, old stories and old patterns that surface as negativity in your life

You will experience a greater level of energy, and joy as empowerment for everyone increases.

You will embody a new form of self sufficiency and resiliency that comes from internal strength and confidence

You will become more authentic and humble, and yet compassionate too

Your ability to connect heart to heart will increase

You will be more decisive and proactive

You will feel less insecure, less dependent and come out of the loop of self doubt

You will trust one another more

You will respect one another more

You will be less afraid and anxious

You will take greater responsibility for your own volatility and become less likely to dump it onto others

You will experience greater peace and calm within. Your responses will become less triggered.

You will be driven by less of a false ego, and more by your higher self

Your communication and relationships with others will improve and you will feel greater compassion for yourself and others

You will be less tense and much more present

You will break the chains to invisible programs inherited from earlier generations.

You will find that life will flow with greater ease, and challenges will lessen as you grow in self-awareness.

More pull, less push. More vulnerability, less macho posturing is the way of the future…CEO who responded to an Oxford Survey.

 

 Structure of the Four Month Gold Package

  1. Have an initial coaching session to evaluate your families’ most pressing needs, and go through a 10 page self evaluation exercise that concentrates on your desires, needs, expectations and triggers. We will also discuss family patterns inherited during this review and create a personalized action plan for each family member that is willing to participate in the program.  The pricing of this program will be evaluated at the outset of the four months- depending on the number of family attendees.
  2. Be taught body awareness points and be educated on their purpose.
  3. Be taught how to access unconscious thoughts in your body, their influence on you via the “law of attraction” and be taught how to dissipate their negative power. This education may happen individually depending on the age of your children.
  4. Be taught how to find clarity using FATYQ, helping you to have less doubt and pressure in your decision making. Understand the science behind this process. This will be taught to teenagers and Adults
  5. Be taught how to use the shorter Dalian Method process, to learn how to access what has been suppressed: This will be the key tool used to assist teenagers and children age 10 and upwards
  6. Be shown the flow chart of how expectations and needs influence our hidden core beliefs and programmings. This education is designed for adults so that they can assist their children to a path of fulfillment and happiness.
  7. Experience a self empowering dalian method session to experience a deep transformation and gain a new awareness in your body which will cut the chain to an old behaviour patten. This will be sustainable, leading to lasting change internally and externally (this work will all be at a cellular level). This appointment will be repeated several times for each adult in the family, and youth over age 17 years if they are participating in the process.
  8. A coaching session to become more aware of the changes that are unfolding in your life, as a result of the previous dalian method process and be shown how to keep track of the benefits that are arising. This coaching will have particular emphasis regarding relationship goals to be achieved, and will be shared with the parents.
  9. Practice with an active meditative exercise to help identify the residual stress/fear in your body and be guided how to clear that up, layer by layer. This will be completed for the adults and they will be shown how to assist their children.
  10. Follow up with another practice with another active exercise- NO/YES to help heighten the relaxation inside your body and be shown how to vary this if your mood is requiring a new direction.
  11. Follow up with a second dalian method session to consolidate the first awareness and shed inherited patterns with the new action steps required in your life. This will be repeated individually for each parent and youth over 17 years old.
  12. Conclude with a coaching session on how best to implement these changes in your home life to influence each other in a positive and responsible way
  13. Detailed support outside of the regular meetings together via a personalized blog. All of the above appointments are in person, or on skype during the four months.
  14. Collaborate to create action steps in between each appointment to become independent in the use of the Dalian Method, FATYQ and other active meditations introduced during this package. These will act as homework assignments. Some of these appointments can be added to the plan to ensure completion at an additional cost.
Top-down, hierarchical, macho leadership gives way to a more responsive, humble, authentic and inclusive view of leading.

If you are ready to experience profound liberation for your family in only four months…..we would be delighted to work with you!

Available to you at an individualized cost depending on your family size.

Email kindi@kindigill.com to organize your registration.