Back Story
Today I show you how to understand your emotional burdens and how to alleviate your mental strains. I equip you with tools to access the calm and grounded state within, so that you can cope easier with the ebbs and flow of life. For in the end we are all striving to access joy and optimism that bubbles up from inside, no matter what the outside circumstances!
So why do I do this? Did something happen, to move me in this direction you might ask?
Well of course it did- this is my why! I share how I transitioned from the stressful path of being an overachiever as a CEO in a private company with 3000 people, to follow my surprise new path with the Dalian Method. The intermediate step of facing emotional overload, and depression was “essential” to help this to unfold. I had got used to playing the role of the boss, the carer, the one with the weight of the world on her shoulders. I had got used to being a leader of many, but one who was beginning to burn out from suppressing her own emotions and putting herself second on the list of priorities.
Offloading Pressure
My focus is very much on helping you to achieve emotional equilibrium and harmony in your own skin. This means total acceptance of everything that arises. But for this to happen we have to go backward and learn a bit about the “unconscious predisposition” we carry- which is the stuff that creates all our difficulties and challenges in life. Many people refer to the unconscious as their subconscious but we talk about it as the unconscious- the aspects we are unaware of.
Once we have understood what these unconscious predispositions are, it becomes easier to know how to eliminate them at their source so less personal pressure is felt. You sort of learn how to “uncreate” the things that don’t work for you! You also learn new lessons along the way, so that you begin to understand the mystery of your life a little more too.
Take for example Person 1, who chooses to be in the shadow of another person, and stays small, doing mundane tasks. And person 2, who is the leader in the pair. Is it not a mystery that this has unfolded and neither person knows why they assumed their respective roles?
Why does one choose to be so driven and responsible and head for a career that is so demanding? Is that even good for them? Or is all of that driven by an unconscious predisposition inside them? And if it is driven by an internal invisible thing- what is that invisible force inside?
The Test and Mastery
Whatever you are facing as a challenge, I know for sure that you can gain mastery over it. I say this with confidence, having found a pathway that took me out of the fires in my own life……
When I was busy working as a Chief Executive, I could barely keep up with all my duties in work and at home, and manage all the stress, that there was little room for posing questions about my life, and little time for reflection. I was not to know that a lot of my real curiosity would awaken when I was not so busy ……….
I became a stay at home mum raising our three children from 2004, having had over 23 years in Corporate Leadership at that time, which had itself come to an unexpected end. Some of the easiest tasks at home seemed too mundane for me, and at times I would struggle with the shock of my new found circumstances. Why did I find it difficult to accept mundane duties? Why was I predisposed to think I would be happier if I was doing something perceived to be more important? Why was what I was actually doing not important?
I found myself tense in the oddest of moments, almost noticing for the first time in my life an inner push for more. With that peace and harmony within was missing, which had always been absent but I had not noticed whilst living with adrenaline rushing around everyday. Have you found this happen in your life, where by letting go of something, room is made to notice details that otherwise would have been missed? I also experienced a deep sense of loneliness too, since without the distraction of loads of people to preoccupy me, I saw things I had not seen before.
We easily ended up in deep conflict with each other, my husband and I, as a backlash to the stress that we both felt but neither one of us knew how to get out of these power battles. We were simply dumping on each other to get away from the inner tension.
The unknown aspect was that both of us were reacting based on internal judgments that we valued so much, and yet neither one of us knew whether our judgement of the facts was actually correct? We protected our opinions as if they were sacred, and yet we missed the point of how to relate kindly and with respect for one another. These internal states were driven by our unconscious predispositions.
I guess some of you reading this will be able to relate? Where does that outburst of frustration arise from? And why does it even show up? Does it have a purpose? Why are we protecting an internal perspective so strongly when we have not even explored where that perspective comes from? These reactions are all based on our unconscious predispositions. It is as if we are reacting to invisible strings that are pulling us- and we remain somewhat out of control, as a result.
Our true insecurities surface as we argue, and as I was to discover it is our fears that drive the conflicts in the first place.
Self Discovery
My explorations into psychology began in 2006, to help me understand why I had now fallen into feelings of deep grief, emptiness and what appeared as symptoms of depression- even though I was not diagnosed by anyone. My perception was that my relationships were often disappointing, and as I encountered situations of lack of support, respect and love, the tyranny of my head that claimed I was a victim to adversity, had to be tamed or it was in danger of suffocating me. I had to let go of the past, and it was tough. I had grief from seeing my sister face a car accident in which she became paralyzed, and grief with no longer being a career woman. I faced further adverse times with my husband when he was diagnosed with cancer twice, and unbearable stress as I transitioned into a new life in a new country.
In some ways the old identity with goals and objectives that had kept me busy was now stripped away, and what was left behind was difficult to relate to? Watching my sisters car accident left me desperate to understand why destruction arises and why people have to suffer? Watching my career come to an end made me wonder if there was even any point in creativity if all of it turns to dust? Watching my relationship come to a near divorce made me lose faith in the concept of leaning on one another. All of this brought my ego to its’ knees.
I had a curiosity and real desire to learn more, and I sincerely felt I had also suffered enough. I just wanted my life to be fixed. I knew nothing about karma and so many other complicated aspects that shape our life and the challenges we face.
Much had to be dismantled to find the silver linings in the adversity that I had faced, to understand my lessons, and ultimately transform to move higher into the light of my own consciousness and wisdom.
This was a brand new concept for me! I had not been introduced to this anywhere in my life previously. I had not known anything about the power of thoughts and how they create our reality. I knew nothing about the unconsciousness that sits within us and how our life begins to improve, the more we clear up this old “stuff” we are carrying around! (more later)
Questions and What is beyond the Ego
As you can see, many questions were surfacing! Of course, I soon realized they could not be answered through my logical mind alone. An educational understanding was important to start with, to grasp the mechanics of what our ego is and how the thoughts create our ego-mind, and why the ego is formulated, and the type of damage it can do.
However, ultimately an inner journey had to be undertaken to understand my own reality. I had to find the bodily memories driving my unconscious bias and judgments, face the trauma lodged in the cells of my body that was dictating my behaviour & I also had to be willing to see my blindspots and become self-aware. This was the only way to know more about the emotional and mental suffering I was going through. This inner work happened layer by layer but was totally worth the investment.
I first gathered mind based education during two years 2006 to 2008, reading concepts from Miguel Ruiz, Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, Eckart Tolle and more….., and then finally found the deeper solution in shifting perspective to the body- and the DALIAN METHOD! This was a whole new world, where the mind was not necessary, and yet deep changes could arise by dealing with the cells of our body. This is where the self discovery now met science and the world of epigenetic imprints opened up! I won’t cover much of that now-perhaps in another blog later!!!
Going back to the discussion about the dalian method, during the years 2008 to 2018, using the profound help of Mada Eliza Dalian, the creator of the Dalian Method, my psyche systematically changed to a miraculously new self-aware and much more grounded and centred state. The depression lifted.
Simultaneously my own inner self respect heightened, and I am able to set clearer boundaries, without losing compassion for others. Hence far far less arguments.
In fact ironically the more you learn about yourself the more you understand everyone around you too. My twelve year journey of focused introspection that began in 2006 has given me a new knowing, and understanding of where the calm space of inner peace resides and how it can be maintained too.
Coming full circle and ready to share
I now joyously share what I have learnt with anyone who resonates – where answers can be found to why the day to day volatility of emotions arise, why we face challenges and suffer and how new inner strength can surface! I share how to see the lessons in this big school of life we live in and thus how we grow and evolve!
I hope you too are curious to learn…..
To understand and transform your emotions of worry, pressure, fear and doubts…. I invite you to eliminate angst and anxiety/insecurity that builds as a result of the most recent conflict, misunderstanding or challenge you are facing. I invite you to find the courage to come out of traumatic memories than run your psyche as invisible programs, along with unconscious programs that have been inherited from your parents and the generations before them, which no longer serve you.
It would be my privilege to see the Dalian Method, and the active meditations we use, devised by Osho and Mada, become your guiding light and inspiration and hope too. The dalian method helps children, teenagers and adults, in its varying lengths and forms. I have seen its’ profound impact on each of my three children, myself and thousands of people to date. If you are ready to eliminate unwanted heartache, body memories of trauma, and erase mental and external conflict into greater connection with yourself and others, feel free to reach out at Kindi@kindigill.com. The journey to rise up in consciousness is a truly miraculous journey and one I would encourage anyone sincere about changing to take….
