Spark Expansion Consulting LTD. http://kindigill.com Kindi Gill - Transformation Coach Sat, 05 Aug 2017 00:28:22 +0000 en-CA hourly 1 WHY FAMILY DIVERSITY IS ESSENTIAL: The pathway to peace. http://kindigill.com/family-diversity-essential-pathway-peace/ Sun, 09 Jul 2017 23:42:45 +0000 http://kindigill.com/?p=1819   Architecture When diverse combinations come together, miracles unfold! When old architecture meets modern, our eyebrows are raised at the wonder it displays. This spot in France is one such example of this type of beauty…The Louvre.   Family Diversity Similarly when differing personalities come together in a family unit - sheer amazement arises as […]

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  1. Architecture

When diverse combinations come together, miracles unfold!

When old architecture meets modern, our eyebrows are raised at the wonder it displays. This spot in France is one such example of this type of beauty…The Louvre.

 

  1. Family Diversity

Similarly when differing personalities come together in a family unit – sheer amazement arises as we look at the magic of how essential the individual pieces are! They each contribute their own charisma to make a wonderful whole.

 

We each come with our own ” juice and style” and get thrown together as a family unit to help one another to access our individual wholeness too.

 

At a surface level a family unit is comprised of:

 

A bunch of people with differing personalities ….

A bunch of people with differing strengths ….

A bunch of people with differing blind spots …….

A bunch of people with differing lessons to be learnt …..

A bunch of people with differing ambitions and hobbies …..

A bunch of people with differing tolerances……

A bunch of people with differing beliefs……., opinions, judgments, evaluations!

 

 

  1. Human Commonalities

So the key question becomes with so much that is apparently different, how do we find our human commonalities?

 

How do we make miracles happen as in the architecture example of the Louvre?

 

What purpose is being servd when all these combinations come together?

 

How to find unity?

How to find appreciation for one another?

How to understand and communicate with one another?

How to overcome the false ego power struggles?

How to maintain individual freedom and individual expression, and yet co exist in peace?

How to take responsibility for seeing & releasing our blind-spots, and yet feel accepted?

How to be unconditionally forgiving & accepting of one another?

 

 

  1. Transformation and Peace

THE ANSWER TO THESE very important QUESTIONS IS THE MAIN OBJECTIVE OF FAMILY TRANSFORMATION….. the main objective for showing people how to be empowered and lead their own lives with dignity inside a wider group of people.

 

 

True happiness and contentment lies within PEACE, a feeling that can only be canvassed inside.

 

It cannot arise by controlling and forcing others to conform to our own ways.

 

Peace arises as we recognize that we “in the bigger picture” are insignificant, a “nobody”- who is not in charge of anything that is unfolding.

 

Our “in-chargeness” is to remain an observer of what unfolds, accepting it all as if we have chosen it for ourselves! In such a scenario we surrender to the present moment and maintain our internal peace.

 

  1. Let go

The stubborn traits that make us do/demand/fix/ act are reactions to help endorse the feeling of being a “somebody” ….. and all these behaviours display an unwillingness to let go!

 

And let go can only happen if we breath …..breath down from our head into our body.

 

When we hold our breath, we hold onto our “ego” too and our idea of being important and significant. So every time we find ourselves holding our breath, make that a reminder, that we are holding onto our ego, and our false idea of a separate existence.

 

Each day in a family unit we get to practice breathing and letting go!!! These opportunities arise without fail. That is why the family is always so diverse. The varying personalities give us the opportunity to learn how to remain peaceful and content within.

 

This is golden, since this is the most important opportunity in life. To feel whole inside and not fragmented by transient emotions and thoughts means we have become accepting and peaceful. With this accepting of ourselves and accepting of others, the universe becomes a unified whole.

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WE are BEING chiseled into Magnificence http://kindigill.com/we-are-being-chiseled-into-magnificence/ Sun, 04 Jun 2017 00:20:37 +0000 http://kindigill.com/?p=1822   The giant rhododendron blossomed in our front garden this last week ! Just the right amount of water, sunshine, patience and nurture is provided by nature for this majestic appearance in life. This makes me wonder why we do not watch and marvel at the beauty of what is being chiseled through us, as […]

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The giant rhododendron blossomed in our front garden this last week !

Just the right amount of water, sunshine, patience and nurture is provided by nature for this majestic appearance in life.

This makes me wonder why we do not watch and marvel at the beauty of what is being chiseled through us, as we slowly develop as human beings in our lifetime…..

WE would not be willing to preplan it into magnificence

I know I personally would not have preplanned the amazing events that have led my own journey to its current understanding and maturity.

Sure I would have wanted the upsides….. my amazing parents, the birth of my children, the beautiful comforts I have experienced, the leadership roles, the intellect, the curiosity and courage, the determination and perseverance, the holidays, the homes and the incredible mystic that showed me how to rescue myself !!!!!!

BUT

I would not have wanted the emotional pain and sensitivity

I would not have wanted the adversity, the illnesses, the lousy relationships

I would not have wanted the insecurities

I would not have wanted to work so hard, the burden, the weight

I would not have wanted to feel so alone and unloved at times…..and the suffering

 

AND YET..…without these encounters, the depth of my wisdom would currently be lacking and for sure my empathy and compassion would be missing

Consequently whenever I begin to flower, something would have remained missing!!!

So all I can say is let’s bow down in grace to the marvel of how existence operates.

I am in deep humble gratitude to the precision of life ….. and it’s amazing splendour.

 

Life is like a river of roses

 

Life is like a river of roses 🌹 being delivered to us systematically each day ………Each Rose contains within it the potential of a thorn prick as well as the awe of beauty too.

As our awareness grows we notice different aspects. In the early stages the thorns really hurt! Then after a while we begin to understand the thorns a little, and as we do we begin to see more of the stem and the Rose petals as well!

With growing awareness we are getting closer to experiencing the awe of the beauty of the Rose and how without the thorn prick this beauty may have been less…..and thus the knowing that the thorn was playing its part too- it all makes for a completeness that cannot be otherwise experienced.

The trick is to stop and notice what is actually under our nose, the whole Rose rather than the noise made by the illusion of our ego about only the thorns in the way. Everything has its purpose

So as human beings

  1. Do we have our creativity? YES
  2. Do we have love within us? YES
  3. Do we have resources to keep us comfortable? YES

The bottom line is that we have it all…………..and the thorns in our world just help us to see this truth of our magnificence!!!

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What if Material Success is Not Enough? http://kindigill.com/material-success-lie/ Fri, 12 May 2017 05:35:00 +0000 http://kindigill.com/?p=1688 Money will give me power It represents abundance & choices The world could be my oyster “I must have” is heard in my inner voices To “have” certainly brings comfort - it provides But fulfillment and peace it clearly denies Achievement offers false-power rides A pedestal that pushes me to become wise! When my actions […]

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Spark Expansion

Money will give me power
It represents abundance & choices
The world could be my oyster
“I must have” is heard in my inner voices

Spark Expansion

To “have” certainly brings comfort – it provides
But fulfillment and peace it clearly denies
Achievement offers false-power rides
A pedestal that pushes me to become wise!

Spark Expansion

When my actions slip me into behaving superior
A deep-seated insecurity was actually hiding
A veil that whispers “I feel inferior”
Drove that ambition for mastery and conquering

Spark Expansion

I am short, brown and a woman who does not belong, sapped my real confidence
The fear of the unknown undermined my self-esteem
My mind, robbed me of peace, self-love and innocence
Locked me in a comparison-filled nasty dream

Spark Expansion

My value had nothing to do with others or money
Nor perfection and societal success-based recognition
My exploration of and willingness to empty
Thoughts & feelings of competition led to the ultimate liberation!

Spark Expansion

Power and strength is an internal, natural, healthy state
Not associated with gain, achievement or outcome
It comes from transforming our historic slate
Imprinted with judgments & beliefs acting out as glum

Spark Expansion

In silence is our brilliance
In trust comes our peace
No fear- in creativity is our fulfillment
No ego- in emptiness is our release

Spark Expansion

Never buy the lie that money is the definition of success
Never buy the lie that the extrovert is joyful and confident
Never buy the lie that lack of ambition is a weakness
Never buy the lie that virtue is at the top, kept for the prominent!

Spark Expansion

Truth is whole & goes low
Truth is non-controlling and humble
Truth is compassionate and will automatically glow
As Truth is grounded, insanely confident & doesn’t tumble!

Spark Expansion

Truth is Consciousness
ALWAYS dedicated to reveal the illusions
First with acceptance of “our” individual mess
Will doors truly open to magical and miraculous sensations!

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Leading our Youth into Authentic Leadership http://kindigill.com/leading-youth-authentic-leadership/ Thu, 06 Apr 2017 05:14:57 +0000 http://kindigill.com/?p=1540 Empowerment versus Self-Doubt So if a child decides they do not like to be involved in something; (which in your opinion is good for them) what do you do? Do you force them to do, or do you let them decide? If you force them, does it occur to you that you have given them […]

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Empowerment versus Self-Doubt

So if a child decides they do not like to be involved in something; (which in your opinion is good for them) what do you do? Do you force them to do, or do you let them decide?

If you force them, does it occur to you that you have given them the impression they cannot trust their own decisions and that their opinion about their own life has little value! In fact you may have thoughtlessly sent them a message that says- they are not capable to take care of their own best interests

You see how simple it is, to inadvertently attempt to help a child and yet disempower them!!!

Worry and Fear in Childhood

So if your child decides that they are too afraid of the unknown, or too afraid to take a risk to do something new, do you insist in attempt to get them out of a fear which is keeping them crippled or do you try to understand their fear and teach them how to transform it safely?

These actions might look like the same, but the first disempowers by perhaps fuelling even greater fear. The second shows empathy, shows you understand and shows you had vision in attempting to solve with proactivity. This course of action empowers them to know how to tackle another incident that may be similar in the future.

Suppression of Emotions

And what about emotions? Do you discuss them openly? Do you discuss your own? Do you even feel your own? Do you dump yours on them?

All I can say for sure is that as we face our emotions, children copy our behaviour as automated responses. I find I am super sensitive. They are too….so intriguing. I am slowly learning to feel my state, but get into my centre, so that I have a harmonious and grounded response instead of a volatile or even aggressive reaction.

I am honest with my state- sharing my highlights and lowlights. They now do too. I am quick to take responsibility for my own needs and triggers- when I mess up. They are now too. I am quick to model a change in my behaviour as I grow in self awareness and rise in consciousness.

Authentic Leadership

They are in short being taught how to navigate the complex world of emotions. They are not suppressing to avoid repercussions. They instead are attempting to feel them to understand them, so that they can eventually transcend them. This is leadership!

In the end our objective is to teach them to be authentic leaders of their own lives. Not to wear masks. Not to be insincere to their own needs. To take responsibility for their competitive spirit- their ambitious spirit.  To take responsibility for their own insecurities and their ideas of lack. And to help them to learn how to gain mastery over their own destiny by creating and innovating in the way that helps their uniqueness to shine.

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A Mother is more Important than a CEO http://kindigill.com/mother-important-ceo/ http://kindigill.com/mother-important-ceo/#comments Thu, 23 Mar 2017 23:28:09 +0000 http://kindigill.com/?p=1406   Its' been a privilege to grow as a "mother" developed over the last 24.5 years.  None of us are born with a text book in our back pocket.  Some actions were instinctive, others learnt from my parents, and some simply came with experience, based on what was unfolding in my family life and my […]

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Its’ been a privilege to grow as a “mother” developed over the last 24.5 years.  None of us are born with a text book in our back pocket.  Some actions were

  • instinctive,
  • others learnt from my parents, and
  • some simply came with experience,

based on what was unfolding in my family life and my curiosity to explore and learn. No text book could have given me what I now know. Only experience in the school of life proved to be my true teacher.

 

As I got challenged, I looked to change my reactions to responses.

 

Leading a home, and raising children is both a rewarding and tough process. Our love is stretched and questioned beyond our wildest anticipation as we navigate our duties. We are on duty because

  • we are available 24 hours a day, with no holiday.
  • we are in constant giving mode,
  • we play the role of a “nobody”
  • we have to practice humility and patience, AND simultaneously
  • we gain a deep reverence and gratitude for our own presence.

 

Our love at times moves from being totally unconditional to fleeting moments where conditions come in to shake us up!!…….and that can prove to be a real eye opener.

  • Our boundaries and responsibilities become merged and unclear at times,
  • we manage the day to day existence of those that are dependent, and
  • we prioritize the welfare of our children ahead of our own needs over and over.

 

it is no wonder that we react at times, and forget to respond!

  • We worry about matters that are out of our hands.
  • We get manipulated as our children see our weaknesses.
  • We become automated in our reactions,
  • We discover we are parroting behaviours seen in our own childhood.

We tread a thin tightrope every day, carefully juggling the role of the “authority” as well as the “safety” for our offspring. One tilt the wrong way, and all trust can be broken. So much is being asked of us, and yet one day, we have to gracefully let go, to allow them the full freedom to flourish with their own wings.

 

To be a mother is a true task of brilliant leadership

 

To be a mother, who empowers each day, is one of the most undervalued and underrated roles on this planet and yet simultaneously I cannot help but see that it is one of the most important too.

 

This has an irony of its own! Females are often suppressed and curtailed in their opportunities, and yet in them lies the true answer to facilitate a better and more united & peaceful world.  To be such a mother is a true task of brilliant leadership.

 

A mother is more important than the CEO

A mother is responsible through her actions and words for far more than is clearly obvious. The children she caretakes, have the potential to become the torch-bearing leaders of a brighter or duller future, all based on her acumen to lead.  Is this not incredible? As most mothers are given no formal education in leadership………yet so much is bestowed into their hands!

 

How each child processes and experiences life at home,

  • will determine how empowered they will feel to be self-sufficient.
  • They will either contribute their skills openly with confidence,
  • or shy away from the task, if cloaked in insecurity and fear.
  • The less freedom and opportunity to express with honesty and authenticity in the home,
  • the more disempowered the child might become in their impact with others.
  • They either conform, living with fear, unable to expose who they truly are,
  • or they might rebel and stay in reactivity….which in itself is another prison.

 

  • The greater the pressure to perform to outside expectations,
  • the more uncertain a child might become about experiencing life fully, driven by fear of making mistakes!
  • They might even fall into self judgment if they wish to take a path less travelled.
  • The greater the list of demands placed on them to conform to status quo or religious doctrines,
  • the less free spirited the child might feel, and
  • thus the less capable to take risks, attempt new things and possibly never find what they truly enjoy.

 

After all, a child is here to find their unique gift, to find their own dignity and significant place in life. Each mother has the task of helping them to flower….this is a very big calling, if fully understood.

 

A CEO, although revered, has much less loyalty and devotion to his or her teams, and thus the management style is often not tested in quite the same way, as a mother will be tested! Her interactions are under daily scrutiny, and as she learns how to flower herself, she finds the tools to equip her children with the “how to” to do the same.  A CEO might find that his priority is to the bottomline and not to the people he or she employs. Building care, connection and confidence might be far down on his or her priority list, and yet without emphasis on these qualities people are disabled in their spirit.

 

A wise mother is the mother of the future

For a mother however, her children will push her, and take her to her edges, if she is devoted to freedom, unconditional love and acceptance as her primary agenda.

  • Each time she is pushed into reaction,
  • she will have an opportunity to see the mystery of beliefs that lie within her….
  • to see if they come from society,
  • from religious doctrines,
  • from personal trauma etc etc.

If she follows the tradition of what has been, she will risk being a dinosaur in a fast changing world….and the generation gap will be felt very strongly.  So she has the responsibility of adapting to modern times to modern sensitivities….a true chief emotional officer of the home.

  • She has to be on guard not to accept injustices towards her own expression
  • but at the same time, not stifle the expression of her children either.
  • To keep their individuality in tact is her key priority.
  • She must never suffocate or force them to act like sheep.
  • She has to grow into a very wise mamma,
  • showing them the way to their unknowable potential.

For this she has to be rooted in the knowing that she knows nothing about their lives…..they are simply travellers that came to commune in her presence.

 

To incorporate wisdom in our endeavours as mothers- to stay grounded and support our children consciously is a very sophisticated art. It is the only way in which we each grow and evolve with dignity. Self awareness is an absolute key to clearing up areas of conflict and disharmony, rather than brushing them under the carpet or accepting them as a norm!

  • We have to be very deliberate about leading without imposing fear and control and
  • stay completely alert.
  • It is so easy to amplify feelings of insecurity and unworthiness in our children with inappropriate actions,
  • and yet at the same time we have to ensure that they do not feel entitled or
  • become arrogant as we shower them with our love.

 

Leading without fear and control takes time and lots of effort. (in fact it can be tempting to use reward and punishment since it is often easier and quicker to implement). Because of this effort, many of us will avoid such parenting styles without understanding that this short cut, has grave longer term consequences!

  • We are underestimating that we are taking care of a “consciousness”,
  • a potential flowering as we raise our child, and
  • it would be devastating if the ground for such flowering has been damaged by fear, and mistrust.

It is almost a sacred calling that we take on as mothers, and we certainly grow into this full responsibility progressively over life.

 

  • Much misery and depression is rampant in our world, because
  • each generation does not know or have the right tools to help them
  • to overcome their limiting and sabotaging patterns.
  • Devotion and loyalty to ourselves as human beings is left compromised and
  • in this way people keep stepping further and further away from their true calling,
  • leading only a partially fulfilling life.

 

If each mother would happily embrace the path of incorporating wisdom in her parenting, it would prove to be a priceless gift in her home.

The old reality of

  • worry,
  • anxiety,
  • mistrust,
  • lack of communication,
  • insincerity,
  • inauthenticity evaporates as self awareness and wisdom increases.

A new reality of

  • confidence,
  • inner power,
  • and the ability to make self sufficient
  • independent decisions arises for our children.

 

Conscious Parenting is the liberating way forward

 

To clean up our own unconsciousness (blindspots) is absolutely necessary if we are to stop inadvertently passing on our own limiting patterns to our children…

  • be they indecisiveness,
  • loyalty to the wrong aspects of life like societal or
  • religious doctrines,
  • or our own anxieties and fears.

I have found many hidden unconscious beliefs that lived quietly in the cells of my body- some that came from generational conclusions, and others that were personal to my specific life.  We do not want our children

  • to be looking outside of themselves to feel their own value!
  • They should not be affected by every opinion,
  • judgment or conclusion about them
  • This thinking bears no real relevance to their magnificence.
  • They should not be focused on outcome, outcome, and outcome to understand their value.
  • Self value , quietly felt inside themselves, should be known to them early in life.
  • They should not fear that they are not enough,
  • nor live with a low sense of self confidence!!

 

It becomes essential to break such chains to conditionings and conclusions that do not serve our well being, and avoid them from being passed onto our offspring. As we clean up something in ourself as a parent, the chord that was forcing the same to unfold in our children snaps, and the chain to sabotaging patterns fall away in them too.

To understand our emotions…the purpose behind them, helps us to face our vulnerabilities and identify the virtue of our own internal guidance system. Progressively we learn how to become centered in our responses.

Our emotions show us

  • our needs,
  • unfulfilled aspirations,
  • dreams and
  • visions.
  • our connection to self-love,
  • our expectations of others and ourselves,
  • our fears and so much more!

 

I am astounded at how many nuances drive our instinctive reactions, and how many fears affect our personality. Some fears are so subtle and others more blatant.

Whichever their form, they lead to

  • reactivity of anger or tears,
  • neediness or worry,
  • anxiety or depression.

None of these reactive states embody real strength and confidence. They leave us feeling incomplete. It is only in the absence of reactivity that our sanity and peace is felt.  Thus it is important to understand that reactivity has to change to a grounded response. A response that comes from wisdom and maturity that always surfaces after we dig for the roots that perpetuate or cause the cycle of our blinded reactions.

 

The reactions themselves are not the problem. They simply alert us to a follow up action that is required, and that is of finding liberation through transformation. To transform and overcome such blindspots and take responsibility for our own growth, helps each of our children to have a new form of education to rely on.

 

This education emphasizes how success and contentment is not driven by outside outcomes and goals, whether that be of grades, wealth and possessions.  It is an internal job. An internal state of hope and optimism, joy and excitement, peace and tranquility. This education offers understanding on what it means to be a human being and how our human “condition” is felt in a universal way, where divisions created by religion, colour or gender, all fall away.

 

The future looks promising

The importance of self discovery will be learnt and practiced early on if our children have it as part of their day to day life.

  • Our kids will automatically become more responsible for their life and
  • be motivated to take charge rather than be passive.
  • They will understand their spiritual state
  • alongside their mental state,
  • never pushing one to be a higher priority over the other.
  • With this balance in tact, they will become individuals who adopt a wholesome approach to living…
  • that has independence,
  • fearlessness and
  • empowered strength at its core.

 

None of our children will feel insecure or hold back as a result. They will naturally learn to place less attention on fixing issues in their lives and greater awareness to transform their issues….as this is the only purpose of adverse issues in the first place.

They will understand

  • true confidence rather than the form that is driven by fake personas.
  • They will grow in empathy and compassion,
  • knowing that is the key to their individual growth.
  • They will live to serve everyone,
  • and not just their selfish needs,
  • and with that their actions will have purity behind them.
  • They will live in less judgement and division.
  • They will share their gifts readily and not compete or compare with one another.

In total, they will help to contribute to a world that becomes kinder and more genuine because of their tiny contribution.

 

In the end, all moments of friction amongst relationships have potential in them. The potential to learn and become more empathic. So acceptance of all that is, will become key in the psyche of our children, instead of feeling despair when things do not flow well.

And within that acceptance will be a sense of

  • responsibility to explore,
  • to find the silver linings, as they
  • trust the mystery of each day.

As they learn to trust life, so they will surrender to each new day easily with joy and excitement, avoiding rigid resistance.

 

I earnestly look to encourage more and more parents to model this new way of living. The more of us that choose to grow in self awareness and take our consciousness to an elevated state, the faster we will all help our larger human family to be inclusive and tolerant. In this way, we will have more of what we want for our children, and that is their happiness! And simultaneously less of what we do not want, fear, hatred, division, and degradation. Lets work together to make this old history fall away…………

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Let Go- The Sane solution! http://kindigill.com/let-go-sane-solution/ Wed, 15 Mar 2017 05:49:00 +0000 http://kindigill.com/?p=1380 Happy day-light savings time! It is that time of year when the days get longer, and we might find more bounce and energy within? Is that you? So what happens if this season does not follow its normal pattern?   Here in Vancouver we have enjoyed/endured a lot of snow in the last five or […]

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let go

Happy day-light savings time! It is that time of year when the days get longer, and we might find more bounce and energy within? Is that you? So what happens if this season does not follow its normal pattern?

 

Here in Vancouver we have enjoyed/endured a lot of snow in the last five or six weeks- unexpectedly for this time. This takes me to my point- how easy did we find it to just accept what is happening around us, and stay calm and happy with the new circumstances arising around us? Can we simply let go and just go with the flow?

 

Most entrepreneurs, think themselves as a “doer”- with plans and goals to attain and it might have been that the snow became a nuisance rather than something you could easily surrender to, and flow with. Possibly customers could not be met? It might have been that appointments were difficult to attend, and traffic blockages caused you to re align, and let people down?

 

I decided to surrender, and use the time in my “onesie” to stay cosy. One afternoon, I went outside and walked, giggled as I trod deep into the snow. I even considered the idea of scooping some of the snow up to eat- it just looked so fresh, beautiful and mystical even! I had flashbacks of freedom that I felt as a young carefree child. These little moments seem to be what life is made of!

 

Learnings from the snow

A few things had to happen for this feeling of happiness and carefree response to be maintained.

  • A willingness to accept and surrender to what was happening, for in its absence the only other choice was to resist and be miserable. Have you noticed how easy it is to waste moments of bliss by focusing on what is not happening, rather than what IS unfolding in its mystery?

 

  • The going with the flow had a feeling of freedom in the let go! This was easy to experience…almost natural infact. I could see that pushing uphill just goes with the old belief “that I have to work hard”, when the best moments come very easily. So my new conclusion is to go in the direction that seems the easiest- forget the nonsense of “no pain no gain”! I think we have been hypnotized to believe everything has to be hard, and in the process we make it unnecessarily tough for ourselves. LIFE MUST BE FOR ENJOYMENT?

 

  • Something bigger than us is always in charge, and it is thus a choice to feel helpless to that power, or adopt the course that is unfolding as if we have chosen it by our psyche. We might as well enjoy the blessings being showered, because otherwise we are missing out on the present moment. This seems absolutely ridiculous- especially as we get older. Why waste our days? We might as well surrender to the power outside of us, and be willing to see what we are being shown. The present moment will not repeat itself again, so make the most of it!

 

  • Understanding this brought me to a comical laugh at my ignorance over all the years I have lived, at thinking myself so important up til now! Lol! We always hear, do not take yourself too seriously…..and boy have I ignored this advice. Now it looks like I finally see the point. We know nothing. We are in charge of nothing. We can plan but we never know what will be the outcome. Nothing can be predicted. We are simply simply vehicles doing our best, but the exact course we will be taken on, is an absolute mystery. So again surrender to it- that is the child’s response! And hence why they always look so happy!

 

  • I saw that I have run much of my life wanting to be in charge, and the fear to let this go, has been part of my own undoing. How crazy is that?  Where do these ambitious ideas come from? Sure, we have a calling to fulfill. Sure we have a unique perspective. But the exact way that it is all to unfold is unknown. We are simply puppets to a larger game at play. Our minds can never know. So the best we can do is follow our intuition moment to moment- and let the rest happen in our own let go………

 

  • Trust in what is unfolding moment to moment is the only wise response to challenges, the unknown, the adversities that chisel us and help us to find our backbone. So trust is the glue to happiness. Trust is the key. The key to a stress free existence. The doorway to our liberation from heartache. The way out of our own insecurity and fear. Trust is what we are being called to do.

 

So with that, I encourage all of us to TRUST AS MUCH AS YOU CAN, even if it is baby steps you take each day! Remember, the more we trust, the easier and more enjoyable our world becomes. The more full it becomes too.

 

Sending you as always warm encouragement to lean in to whatever you are facing right now, and be willing to find the hidden messages. They always hold wisdom worth our knowing.

 

 

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Your MIND is the PROBLEM http://kindigill.com/self-acceptance-self-worth/ Wed, 22 Feb 2017 08:41:43 +0000 http://kindigill.com/?p=1291     ♥ WE ARE ALL SIGNIFICANT♥   Our INDIVIDUAL voice matters in life, simply because we are ALL part of a giant tapestry, helping one another along in our journeys. The best way is to imagine that we are part of a big jigsaw puzzle, and our "place" in life is to share what […]

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WE ARE ALL SIGNIFICANT♥

 

Our INDIVIDUAL voice matters in life, simply because we are ALL part of a giant tapestry, helping one another along in our journeys. The best way is to imagine that we are part of a big jigsaw puzzle, and our “place” in life is to share what we know, so that our presence influences how well the next piece of the jigsaw puzzle fits in. It is destined to be connected to our piece, so that eventually we each see only ONE BIG WHOLE.

 

So when a voice divides and causes disunity, we have to remember that the only purpose that voice has served is to encourage a call to action for the opposite to happen.  It is designed to help empower those that are so used to not claiming their worth and full value, and allowing such sabotage to happen in the first place.

 

For we all know (in our deepest core) that our ability to be truly human lies in seeing first the humanity in one another, so that as we pursue our own agenda, we never compromise another being in the process. Any action that demeans, uses, rejects the worth in another is destined to increase suffering for ourselves and others. Any action driven by lust or greed and manipulation is unsustainable. Any action driven by our mind and not our knower, contributes to this difficulty, because our mind believes it is separate, an island of its own.

 

♥ THE MIND CONTRIBUTES TO ALL PROBLEMS♥

WE are being called to evolve, so that we can see the troubles created by the mind- often suffering caused by the mind will eventually assist us to feel true remorse for our actions, as a sense of humility arises…..and in this way of course, we move more into our heart.  It is best to start evolving beyond the beliefs of our mind much before such suffering arises, but unfortunately often the suffering is the only motivator that forces us to do something about our state.  So the anguish becomes an essential component to help us to understand that true learning comes from beyond our mind.

 

NO change has ever happened through keeping ourself small, compromising, pleasing, fitting in with status quo- because the status quo always holds room for improvement. Nobody can question some of the desperate division we currently face in our world and nobody can justifiable argue that we have to maintain what we know!  Our mind – the collective state and individual state is fuelling our heartache through judgement, competition, greed, bigotry, prejudice, and oppression.

 

♥THE INEQUALITY IN OUR SOCIETY IS A DAILY REMINDER FOR NEW ACTION♥

If we look around we get daily reminders of separation and inequality surfacing in our lives and this obviously is showing us that there is much work to be done.

  • Religion separates
  • Family units separate
  • Societal conditionings separate
  • Authority and money separates
  • Experiences separate
  • Colour separates
  • Gender separates
  • Sexual bias separates
  • Our mind and its’ conditionings separate

 

 

For our own evolution out of a reality where we are undermined as a human being, we must first claim our own self worth, and understand the freedom we have to honour our voice, our gifts and our calling. This recognition of our greatness is hidden deep in our core, where our being resides and can only be accessed if we by pass the mind! This is where we begin to live out our purpose, and embody our calling as our unique way to be in dignity on this earth. Naturally for this to happen, no insecurity remains and full trust in oneself arises. Even if we have to die in the process, we become willing.

 

♥IT ONLY TAKES ONE INDIVIDUAL AT A TIME TO CREATE A REVOLUTION♥

 

Every shift in human perception has arisen because of the courage of one individual at a time- Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi, John Lennon, Osho, Oprah Winfrey…the list goes on! Each pushes the boundary of human perception to fresh territories that awaken our ability to be more inclusive. Each such person advocates for a better world of peace, contentment, empowement, equality and bliss.

 

The courage of Mada Eliza Dalian to create a system to revolutionize our interactions with one another is nothing short of miraculous…the magic pill we all have been awaiting on this earth, to eradicate ego based pain. She has created a practical solution: THE HOW TO!!!  This gives us the way to stop manipulation, control, judgement, oppression, abuse, discrimination and opens the door to heartfelt compassion, kindness, unity and acceptance. This is how we begin to embody unconditional love, one person at a time.

 

♥THE DALIAN METHOD IS HERE TO ELEVATE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE♥

 

This tool ( the Dalian Method) shows us how to step back into our innate worth, and it awakens the type of confidence that is beyond any security given by career or money in the bank. This self-worth comes from experiencing and understanding the purity of our being, our innate nature and our innate greatness that lies deep within our body.

 

It’s a process, first learning to know ourselves, and growing in self awareness, then purifying the actions that cause separation, anger, control, insincerity, greed, insecurity and the like and finally through full acceptance claiming our own worth. Our purified version of ourselves begins to grow into unconditional love for everyone, including ourselves and it embraces freedom as its core value in life.

 

The freedom to excel in our own unique way, accessed through a growth in self awareness leads to fulfilment that cannot be measured by anyone outside of you. The mind is not capable of offering such unconditional love as it itself is the problem. Only a shift from head to heart leads to such change. Only a shift that increases our consciousness leads to such much needed changes.

 

  1. It is our responsibility to rise in love, self love in particular…..
  2. It is so easy to fall and stay caught up in the games of our small egos and the antics of an inner critic that acts like a continuing pest………..
  3. But that rigid shell of the ego might be able to protect us from being vulnerable forever, it will never unite us into true love……….
  4. True love takes courage to embody, but it is worth it, as it helps us to claim our magnificence!
  5. It is so worth it to silence the inner critic, to be disengaged from the old stories of our past and to trust ourselves.
  6. And to overcome mind based fears is our true destiny.

 

Unconditional acceptance of our worth, our individual gifts is essential for a sane world to unfold. The dalian method gives us the “how” to heal the broken parts within us and to open the doors to revelation/insights that can and will blow our mind.

To claim all the parts that make us up, the good, the sabotaging and limiting parts and the inherent parts that leave us feeling less than whole , means we must take responsibility to be the captain of our ship and rise in consciousness.

In these modern times where so much teaching is available, to stay in suffering and be locked in temporary illusions is a choice- a choice to remain without fulfillment and to not live our full potential. This is a choice that can easily be transcended with the Dalian Method.

 

♥MONEY AND POWER GIVES NO FULFILLMENT♥

The time is now for us to fully embrace everything there is to explore. Money and power alone will still leave us empty handed. True fulfillment arises as we claim our full freedom to grow in consciousness and as we grow in the journey of self discovery.

Come join in that journey and reach out at info@kindigill.com

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Honesty is Too Risky? http://kindigill.com/how-honest-are-we/ Sat, 24 Sep 2016 03:53:40 +0000 http://kindigill.com/?p=1243 When we decided to take this photo on holiday, we asked a professional photographer to take a picture of all of our family at this spot, on our fancy camera, instead of his.  His answer was "No". He wasn't able to fulfill this simple request. He was not going to get paid...so he had no […]

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honesty

When we decided to take this photo on holiday, we asked a professional photographer to take a picture of all of our family at this spot, on our fancy camera, instead of his.  His answer was “No”. He wasn’t able to fulfill this simple request. He was not going to get paid…so he had no intention of making it easier for us to have a memorabilia in this place.

His honesty, upset me. His inability to “care”, offended me. I was shocked by his attitude and will probably remember this incident for a long time. I saw that he only thought of himself. And of course, most of our ego’s are self-centered, and that is how he behaved

I did not once commend him for being so authentic in his response. I, like most of the world around me, simply wanted him to be polite and willing. I had my agenda, and that was not being fulfilled.

 

It takes courage to be honest

In recent weeks, I have been looking at inauthenticity and how much courage it actually takes to be truly honest…and of course how offensive people can find it, when what they hear does not meet their personal agenda. Had he simply agreed to take our photo, he would have shared a lie. Instead he chose not to be manipulated by our “starry eyed request”

We often justify that the purity of an honest conversation, is a risk too great. We struggle to have conversations just for the sake of sharing our truths……but all manipulation, even to keep people happy is a lie.

 

Manipulation is a lie

In contrast, when an enlightened mystic speaks, the conversation is outward for the individual who is listening. No personal agenda drives the quality of the conversation shared. It has a purity of its own. This purity is felt as total love, an empowerment for us to experience and explore a deeper realty that resides within us. This is why the company of a mystic is so uniquely profound and precious….very few human beings ever seem to reach these heights, but we have so much to learn from their wisdom.

 

Purity exists only when there is no personal agenda

Today I met with a Chief Executive, whose role requires a very solid “I have this all figured out” attitude. She chose to be honest with me, as she sensed that I was there in true service to her. She sensed I cared. She sensed my maternal presence which made her feel safe. But most importantly I came bearing a magical tool that the mystic Mada Eliza Dalian has created.

The consequences of this encounter were extremely profound. Not only did my client gain new insights for her personal and business life, the risk she took to be honest, also opened up doors for her Board of Directors and staff to be given life changing opportunities! Imagine……..otherwise those doors could have remained closed.

I am “wow-ed” by the trust that unfolded in a few simple hours…a deeper trust than often follows many many years of inauthentic business dealings. I cherished the chance she gave me to facilitate the planting of tiny seedlings of conscious leadership in her organization. It will be a true privilege to bear witness to what unfolds in due course.

 

Conscious Leadership is the way of the future

Wherever this is all heading no one knows. All I do know is that the treasures in honesty are a lot deeper than we can imagine. Trust has to be the cornerstone of any team dynamics. Unravelling our state to see our own manipulative tendencies, to see our own unconscious bias, to see our own fears and desires to people please, pays huge dividends to get past our blindspots. By embracing this shadow side, and transforming it, layer by layer, we come closer to embracing the light within us too. And with this, a new form of confidence is born….the sort that cannot be lost.

 

Embracing our blindspots, leads the way to renewed strengths

It is only when we become courageous to “walk our talk” in our interactions, that we gain small insights to what it means to be human. Insights to how to build trust. Insights to caring that is there just for the sake of it. Insights to the strength that lies deep within our vulnerabilities. Insights to the glue that holds us all together. Insights to how we react, how we get triggered, how we feel incomplete and how we can once again embrace our wholeness.

If I had had the Dalian Method when I was younger, my organization could have been managed very very differently. I am so happy that the new leaders in the 21st century have access to such profound methods to assist them on their way. Honesty takes courage and in my opinion, I feel it is now too risky to be insincere and potentially miss out by staying stuck in yesteryear ways.

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How to achieve Conscious Family Unity http://kindigill.com/achieve-family-unity/ Fri, 17 Jun 2016 04:44:05 +0000 http://kindigill.com/?p=1219 I have learnt the hard way that every unconscious thought that I have held, has created a reality around me in my family dynamics that can only be described as "hard work" and "not desirable"!  Business life was smooth sailing and easy, so the challenges that arrived for me were in the other half of […]

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Kindi and girlsI have learnt the hard way that every unconscious thought that I have held, has created a reality around me in my family dynamics that can only be described as “hard work” and “not desirable”!  Business life was smooth sailing and easy, so the challenges that arrived for me were in the other half of my life, at home, particularly with my dynamics with my husband.

 

Take for example, the innocent thought that says “I am insignificant” or “I don’t matter”, arising because what I want is just ignored. This can be in our genetics, as a thought pattern that has been inherited, and as such it is hidden to the part of our brain that remembers things , nevertheless, our life will be affected in a detrimental manner because the imprint is in our cells. This seems unfair, but that is just how it is. We carry our parents and ancestors karmic lessons.

” Even genetics can be and have to be changed”

 

Based on the law of attraction, the  unconscious thought that says “I am insignificant” has to be matched by life circumstances in which you are being perceived as insignificant in your day to day life by the people around you. This is absolutely the way it has to manifest- this is unfortunately how life mathematics work.  If we had been educated to understand this early in our life, our world would be different, because less of us would feel like victims to our circumstances!

 

Say this example is stored in your genetics, and you have to endure life circumstances in which you are being perceived as being insignificant, you could rightly either feel like a victim or want to find a way out.  A question arises, when we look to get out. What is this type of suffering all about? How can I unravel the unconscious thought and transmute its power over my life, in order to experience a better life?

This is the key question that allows us to come out of victimhood and into empowerment…otherwise suffering just happens for the sake of it. When we can make this leap towards empowerment, our life magically settles back into more of what we actually want. This is the bit that is so exciting. Of course to make this leap we have to first take responsibility for our own life, so that we can uncreate the parts that are not working for us. This means we have to take action.

Taking responsibility for your life brings the greatest gifts”

 

This is exactly what I have been doing for the last eight years, layer by layer, with myself, using the Dalian Method and when necessary inviting each of my three children and husband to do the same for themselves too. We each have chosen to take responsibility for our outbursts, our moments of upset, our moments in which disappointments and clashes have arisen.  When kindness is not in every response, the pain forces you to try and address the underlying issues.

 

 

Whether it was for me, or my husband, my daughters or my son, the Dalian Method helped us to find what is hidden in the cells of our body, and thus whatever was in our unconscious and not known to us, but it was driving our reactive behaviour in an adverse way and once the method sourced the unconscious thoughts and patterns, the process then helped to transmute the power of the unwanted aspects. Like a puff of smoke, layer by layer, the old unpalatable behaviour in each of us, simply dissipated.

 

Can you see the full possibilities here? In this way the unconscious no longer sabotages your energy field and thus it becomes impossible to vibrationally draw in through the law of attraction, any circumstances that match your historic state. Those things truly becomes the past, and on route forgotten and forgiven. Let go happens easily

 

Like magic, previous encounters that felt unpalatable simply fall away. In fact they were only there in the first place to get your attention and their unpalatable nature was to invite you to go backwards and start seeking the originating unconscious state that was

  • creating the sabotage
  • long due to be transformed and
  • waiting to be transformed!

 

When we know this and are open to be educated in the mechanics of how life is created, we can simply relax in the knowing that we are constantly being “set up” to become curious to understand the challenges and get empowered to address them. Instead of feeling anxious about our adversity, we instantly become alerted to realize that more work needs to be done to transform our unconscious state into light. This in fact becomes systematically more and more enticing and exciting, because each time our life simply put, just improves. There are no downsides.

” The Dalian Method is like magic!”

 

When I say magic, I mean, within 10/15 minutes of completing the experience of going through the Dalian Method, your behaviour changes into a new state spontaneously from within, AND the people around you stop behaving in their old adversarial ways! Doesn’t that sound cool? You see, once your awareness alters, which is guaranteed to happen as a result of participating in this process, you no longer need those outside reminders of what needed to be transformed inside you. Doesn’t that make total sense to you?…….once the unconscious is transformed and transmuted, the outside circumstances that were driving you crazy become totally redundant, because they have already served their purpose. I love this part! The excitement to see my family dynamics improve every time one of us had the good fortune and sense to change, has been so rewarding and thrilling! Each time, we become a more loving and happier family unit.

 

As human beings we all seek unity. But many fears run as undercurrents in our dynamics with one another. In fact, all lopsided dynamics have at their root, a fear. Take for example the fear to be alone, which brings in circumstances in which you will feel alone. (as per the law of attraction)  When you clear this fear up, you no longer have to navigate all of your life alone anymore. Suddenly companions show up from nowhere for things that you have always been doing on your own! And your own feeling of anguish and pain around the aloneness simply evaporates too. It is like a heavy cloud just dissolves and disappears, and instead unity takes a front seat.

 

“You have all to gain by transforming your fears”

The fear to be rejected brings in circumstances in which you are rejected by others, whether that is through exclusion from a social event, or through recognition that other people are complaining about your actions behind your back. As soon as this fear of rejection is transformed, the people around you stop their drama. In fact they start to behave the opposite way, and applaud you for your effort!  I have found this so bizarre and obviously incredible when it has happened! With this fear gone, you yourself become more sociable and relaxed to take in the limelight. In fact you begin to enjoy your life more, as the judgments of others do not phase you.

 

The fear of death and discovering your whole life was meaningless, brings in moments in which we experience mental pain and sorrow, seeing our loved ones as strangers who have to be left behind and we suddenly see the truth of our lack of unity with our loved ones. Once this fear is transformed, without even asking the people around you, they suddenly become very supportive and friendly, wanting you to be given emotional and physical support you deserve. As for you, you become capable of expressing and making life choices that are in your own best interest. You are no longer interested in short changing yourself by stopping to please others ahead of living your own truth.

 

I hope you are getting the gist of this! I could give dozens and dozens of examples because the wonder that we as a family have experienced over the last eight years has been nothing short of amazing!. And of course this story will continue to evolve, as more work is done, since none of us ever become perfect……..(lol) Life is a continuous road of discovering new aspects, and slowly we chisel ourselves into diamonds!

 

I marvel at this way of parenting. It is such an empowering way to raise children, as they grow up with fewer needy wounds in their psyche. They begin to learn early about the attributes of self responsibility and acquiring a good healthy and positive attitude towards life. If a child struggles with worry, or anxiety, you as a parent recognizes that an unnecessary fear is getting in their way and you can guide them to clear it up.

 

When a child has a tendency to be afraid to make mistakes, it stops their excitement and solid trust in life to unfold. Can you imagine a child that totally trusts that every event in life is designed to help them to evolve? They grow up knowing that there is no such thing as perfection. They grow up knowing that mistakes do not exist. They grow up knowing that their own freedom in life is key and that everything else is simply asking them to take responsibility for their conclusions, emotions & beliefs and to help them to become more loving, inspirational and joyful through evolution in awareness. Trusting life is so much more joyful than being afraid of it.

 

All three of our kids had the tendency to worry, a habit they picked up inadvertently from their parents! This is like sending out a daily prayer to give them something unwanted…………. How silly is that?  We didn’t know better that we had been modelling nonsense to them! You can understand my delight when they have slowly started to see the folly of this approach and how the worry is just a response driven by fear. Now, they get to explore the unknown with wonder & curiosity. They each have learned how to use their gut instinct rather than their minds’ instinct to be afraid of survival. Their mind still tries to come in and cause chaos, and when it does, they know there is more fear to transform, and they become even more keen to find their gut instinct. This is like taking them out of their head and into their body and heart.

 

Through personal experiences, I have seen my own fears dissolve and my ability to let go increase. Previously I had been in a life of unnecessary pain and suffering!  Today I delight in seeing objectively! The attachments to things and people have been keeping me trapped in an illusion that has had me preoccupied in meaningless drama.  Of course moving to Canada from England, awoke the fear to let go of everything that I knew, and my attachments to the old life kept me in a loop of discomfort for a very long time. However now that I can experience life more in a “let go”, so it has become an easier life of sharing and delight. In fact true liberation and freedom becomes ours, as we learn how to be courageous and let go.

 

“Encourage the silver linings to surface in your challenges”

I encourage you to approach me if you are now ready to transform your own unconscious states into clarity, awareness and liberation.

From a personal perspective I feel that there is no other gift that is more important to share with your family. This to me is true love, as it is the only real road to sharing time with people in a beautiful way. As each learns how to come out of their emotional wounds, communication and relationships improve!

This work is about honesty and authenticity, It stops suppression, which only causes rifts in family dynamics. This work dissolves jealousy, anger, insincerity, and adds humility and compassion in our interactions. If we want arguments to stop, more harmony, peace and happiness in our family life, then there is nothing to lose in implementing these magical solutions into our life. Best of all, if our kids are shown this type of living early, they become self sufficient, responsible adults that know how to navigate their challenges with greater ease.

We have found that the Dalian Method helped us to be conscious of the stuff sabotaging our life and to awaken to the limitless potential and joy that resides within us. This method has amazing attributes

  • it reunites you with your gifts, your sense of value,
  • and helps you to feel fulfilled by setting you up to enjoy a life full of gratitude, abundance and creative excellence.
  • It helps to motivate you from within,
  • makes you more responsible for your own life and
  • energizes you into action.
  • Not only will it help in making you more aware and give you clarity,
  • it also awakens you from the illusions that exist in life,
  • expanding your consciousness into universal truths.

The beauty of course, is that success gets to be attained in life, but in a calm grounded and magical way, where stress and anxiety do not drive you.

 

HOPING YOU WILL BE ENCOURAGED TO GIVE THIS ABUNDANT APPROACH A GO.

 

Big hugs and love to you all <3

 

 

 

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Let Go- Life is short, lets learn & make the best of it! http://kindigill.com/let-go/ Tue, 07 Jun 2016 05:25:29 +0000 http://kindigill.com/?p=1192 I have watched with interest, what happens after a family member dies, or is in the process of death: it is probably the most difficult and painful let go that human beings ever go through. The pain can be so excruciating that most choose to distract themselves from it. Death also acts as the greatest […]

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Let Go

I have watched with interest, what happens after a family member dies, or is in the process of death: it is probably the most difficult and painful let go that human beings ever go through. The pain can be so excruciating that most choose to distract themselves from it. Death also acts as the greatest awakener for our existence on this earth. It certainly helps us to ask the important questions of “who am I?” and “where do I go when I die?”

When someone we know dies or is passing, some of us immediately think about our own mortality, recognizing that everything is impermanent and thus at a high level, normal day-to-day drama suddenly becomes meaningless. First we get an understanding that we don’t really matter in the overall scheme of things in life, because we will have to exit and leave everything behind. We go empty handed, just the way we came in….

This can be quite disorientating…… To recognize our contribution both good and bad as insignificant at this stage of life, is a painful process for our ego. Of course it will be matched with deep sorrow too. Let go in itself for the ego is tough, but when accompanied with understanding, letting go and surrendering leads to our liberation too, and does not need to carry such heart wrenching sorrow, that we are so accustomed to witness in the world today. My mother in law has been in a home for many years, alone, unrecognizable from the woman she once was! This acts as a daily reminder of impermanence to our family. We have the choice to surrender or struggle with what has unfolded in front of us, knowing full well that struggle acts as chains of burden. Let go is more dignified.

This is much the same, when we make a conclusion in life, about wrong-doing or injustice that we have encountered. At some point we have to let it ALL go too, along with its’ associated pain….and of course, as with anything, the let go is so much easier, if we have understood what those occurrences were trying to teach us. For example, if we have seen that we inadvertently had picked up a sabotaging pattern from a parent or elder, we can of course let go of our own automated responses and break the link to an old reactionary attitude of victimhood, resentment and bitterness. Let go happens effortlessly and instantly with understanding.

At death, and in life, when an understanding arises about ego division, and delusion, the soul always has a preference for unity as its’ priority. The soul thrives when it is in the state of sharing love. Ultimately that is our nature.

Let go at the time of death brings up the recognition that we go alone, but because of lack of awareness, it is rarely accompanied with the knowing that a sea of unconditional love awaits us at the other side of our transition.  This is so unfortunate, because most of the people left behind, are usually mourning their own loss, and unaware of the fear that an individual who is passing must feel as they say their final goodbyes. If the soul understood that they have been given permission to move on, a joy in aloneness would surface too, a sense of joy of finally being set free from the body, unencumbered and free, the spirit would anticipate its union with love in a welcoming way. Sadly in most homes, the spirit is torn, not wanting to say goodbye to the grieving and yet knowing they have no choice and are forced to move on alone!

My friends’ father died this week, and along with Muhammad Ali’s passing, a realization that life is for living fearlessly without compromise has become even more prominent for me. We come alone and we go alone…….so why do we get entangled in playing small and compromising our needs? The bottom line that truly matters when such awakening moments arise, is to do what feels true to us, in the very short privileged time that we are visiting on this earth. IF this can be done without hurting any of our companions in the process and true friendship is maintained with our fellow travellers, we have reached the peak of our human experience.

When grieving family members hold on tight to the pain and grief from missing someone, never quite figuring their way back to enjoying their life without their lost one, such a loss of juice, creativity and potential is experienced. Again deep questions begin to arise for these people, but the inner angst can become such a dark cloud that its’ heaviness can freeze energy. It is almost like the fear of death becomes the cause to fear living too.

This pain is designed to be the early stages of finding our way into the light, but sadly many stay stuck here for a long time. In a similar way, not letting go of past trauma and history, equally too acts as a leakage that prevents us from living our life fully to its maximum potential.

Not letting go of a lost one, all said and done is selfish, since it sends messages to the one who has moved on, that they are not given permission to be in their new chapter of life. The one holding on, is doing so, simply because they miss them, and wants them in the physical form for their own benefit. The grief is not about love, or the fact that someone had an extra special bond. It is about our own pain of having to say the heart-wrenching goodbyes as we witness death of those that we are attached to, and our own fear of losing what we wanted to keep in our life.  All grief and pain is about attachment, and of course that is extremely sorrowful, but it is all imposed and experienced so that we might get ready to embrace another way of living. A way that helps us to understand and know that nothing actually dies in life…it simply just changes form. All is both eternal and one.

Often people try to make sense of the precious life that has disappeared, and find meaning in the loss. They begin to value life more intimately and perhaps find a spiritual connection in the process to help them with accepting their loss. Life takes a new meaning of sharing their gratitude for life, and a new purpose arises to help themselves and those around them.

The photo above depicts the balloons that my friends’ family set free at his fathers’ funeral to let his spirit fly………When I saw this picture, it felt like, as each balloon was set free, symbolically the attachment to the one who had transitioned had happened too. In fact the one who had passed on, was given permission to fly, not look back, and enjoy the upcoming adventure, without the confines of the body and human restrictions. A world of pure love and freedom awaits this soul, and fortunately this family had the wisdom to recognize that no-one should be holding him back. They all collectively let go in a beautiful way.

This moment encouraged me to write this blog and to say that may we all learn how to let go and evolve beyond our current beliefs. Our own control over life is truly useless. Surrender and let go, leads to bliss and contentment, the only way to sanely live here on earth.  Our birthright wants this for us.  It is a state of fearless living and courage that can be canvassed by only those that choose to become self aware, and this is the most loving and beautiful task that we can undertake for ourselves and those around us.

I hope to continue holding a torch for those that are seeking to understand. LET GO, a beautiful learning that has come my way finally is one to be truly cherished. Good night . <3

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